I'm so worn out. Two times in the past week have I been up for 30 hours straight because I've had to work, give people rides and try and take care of my own life in the process. I don't feel I have the energy to do this anymore! I'm just so tired....no one really understands why I'm going through...and people think I'm just bitching but I'm really having trouble handling all of this.
Christian told me they say God gives us what we can handle, well I feel like he's failed me because I can't handle this anymore. No matter how hard I try to move forward, something happens...something just comes crashing down on me. I couldn't hold my relationship with Jenny together.....I'm not speaking to my Dad, and now my best friend of 18 years is pissed at me and I don't know what I did wrong.
I'm losing my faith in things....in God....I want to believe he's out there, but I'm just having a lot of trouble....I can't seem to catch a break ever. And I have no one I can talk to about this...everyone is so concerend about their own issues....I know i've helped a lot of people, but right now I just need the help!! I'm slippinginto insanity because of everything thats going on in my life!
I wish i could just move away....to another country somewhere and start a new life for myself. This one sucks. I'm being held back from my dreams because I keep worrying about people around me...only to have them shit in my life. Is that what Christians do these days???
I'm hoping things will get better, but I fear they will. I just need the strength to get through this mess!!! That is ALL I am wishing for!
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